The Day that Took the Cake

Y'all, I've had my share of legit awkward moments between my time in customer service and being a receptionist. 

Like the time I accidentally told a customer "I love you" as they were leaving the salon instead of "Have a nice day!"

Or the time a man asked me "Do you solicit?" when I worked the overnight concierge shift at a high-rise apartment in Uptown Dallas.

The thing is, at least those instances were kind of funny. Yesterday was just straight up uncomfortable.

The president of the company had e-mailed me earlier in the day to make sure a cab would be at the office at 2:45pm to take an important corporate lady to DFW Airport. I made the call, the cab people confirmed our address and said somebody would be there, and wham-bam. Easy as pie. Or so I thought.

So there I am, doing nothing my receptionist thing. The day had been going pretty okay so far and it was almost over. 2:40pm rolls around and I say goodbye to the corporate lady.

3pm rolls around and Corporate lady is standing in front of my desk again wondering where the cab is. And I'm all

So I call the cab people AGAIN and they say someone is on their way.

3:20pm. Corporate lady calls my desk because STILL no cab. Her freakin' international flight to London is at 4:45pm. I knew what I had to do, but it wasn't going to be pretty.

So I haul ass down 3 flights of stairs to Lola (my Corolla). I haven't cleaned her out in months. There are various crumbs. There are fast food straw wrappers. There are a couple of pairs of shoes and a set of 5 lb weights. And traces of baking soda in my carpet from when I spilled 2 grande pumpkin spice lattes last fall and was trying to deodorize the smell of sour milk. In one word, disgusting. Also, she's missing two hubcaps.

Behold, the grodiest product placement of all time.

But I had no other choice. So I peel around front and she jumps in my car and now I'm heading 70ish towards DFW Airport. And all the while I'm trying to make small talk and I'm apologizing and praying she doesn't notice the sour milk smell. And of course ALL the cops are out on 635.

Thankfully the airport is only 10 minutes away from my work but of course I had to miss the exit for D terminal. And surprisingly corporate lady was being pretty chill about it, even though her flight was leaving in less than an hour.

I pull in to D Terminal and she has her door open before I even come to a full stop. I was half expecting a tuck-and-roll scenario but no such luck. Obviously she wasn't in the mood for farewell pleasantries so my goodbye went something like

As I left the airport I had this really odd mix of emotions. Like triumphant and mortified. But mostly mortified. 

I suppose I really need to take a little more vehicular pride. Cause you just never know when you'll need to drive a head-honcho to the airport.

Oh well.

Much love to ya,


  1. this is glorious. from start to finish. one time when i worked at a restaurant i said 'how is everyone tasting instead of everything'. so awkward. also, i picture your car to look like michael scott's and all his filet o' fish wrappers.

  2. awesome; you did what you had to do and never mind the car untidiness. my car is awful with crap and junk and wrappers everywhere. my husband was so grossed out he pretty much dumped everything out and cleaned it for me so when i got in the car the next day, it was all clean-smelling and magic!

    Vodka and Soda

  3. I always feel like a boss whenever someone smiles at my outrageous problem solving skills!

  4. If I had a dollar for every time I told the wrong person 'I love you'...