I didn't choose the Army life, the Army life chose Me

Hi Friends!

So it's been a little over a month since my last post and for that I apologize. My life kind of took a turn for the insane, and I've been spending the last couple of weeks attempting to cope with not only pregnancy but the gravity of the situation my little family has abruptly found ourselves in.

About two weeks ago I came home from work, blissfully ignorant of the bomb that was about to be dropped on my head. As I chattered to LT about my day, I could tell something wasn't right. Besides that I had a weird feeling I hadn't been able to shake all day.

After asking LT what was wrong a couple of times, he finally asked me to come sit with him in the living room. As I sat on the couch beside him, he told me he had received a call that afternoon. He is being attached to a unit that is deploying to Afghanistan, and needed to report for training within thirty days.

I can't exactly describe what I felt in that moment. It felt as if the breath had been knocked out of me, and I promptly began to sob like a baby. LT held me and let me cry for several minutes. I guess you could say I didn't exactly handle the news like a big girl.

As my father, Major Dad, likes to say, "when you join the military deployment isn't a matter of 'if' but 'when'." The thing is, LT had recently joined a Reserve unit that had just got back from Afghanistan. I suppose we thought we were safe from the possibility of deployment, at least for a good while. This wasn't supposed to happen to us, now. 

As I continued to soak LT's shirt, I felt my body shaking. All I could think about was delivering our first baby without LT by my side. I could literally feel my heart breaking. LT called in to work that night so I didn't have to be alone to deal with the news, and we spent the night talking and holding each other. 

The last couple of weeks have literally been a whirlwind. While most families in the unit had months to prepare for the deployment, a few families (like ours)were literally given weeks. And while LT technically had 30 days to report, being the amazing soldier he is, he wanted to get there as soon as possible to meet the new troops he would be working with. So he reported this past Monday.

If you ever studied the cycle of grief, it's ridiculously similar to the emotional lifecyle of deployment. I felt angry that this was happening to us. I felt denial, like it was just a mean joke. I bargained, begging LT to see if there was any way the Army could pick someone else, or send him later after the baby was born. Then after a few days, I just accepted that this was our reality. It was happening, and there was nothing I could do about it. 

I decided the only thing to do was give it up to God. I can honestly say I've never prayed so much in my whole life. I still have those bad days, where I can go from one emotion to another within minutes. But this whole thing has really forced me to put my life into perspective, to be thankful for things that I have.

We are so blessed to have an amazing support system in our friends and family. Both of our parents are within 20 minutes of us. All of my best friends live in DFW. Plus I'm already making friends with the other wives whose husbands are deploying from the unit. And probably the biggest blessing of all:

I'll have a beautiful baby girl to keep me company until Daddy comes home in October.

Much love to ya,

Outting Myself

LT: I'm worried you're giving up on your dream.

Me:...my dream?

LT: Of being a blogger.

Me: Oh...it's not exactly my dream. I just haven't had anything to write about.

LT: You have a ton to blog about. You just don't want to out yourself.

It's true. I've been holding out on y'all.

Ya see...

Am I totally stoked? Yes.

Am I terrified? Also yes.

In some ways I feel like such a huge kid myself. LT and I act like colossal ass-hats most of the time. 

Anyway, Google "first trimester symptoms" and I've basically had them all. You remember posts mentioning me feeling hungover even though I hadn't been drinking? The lunchtime car naps (which still happen)? The crazy shedding? Yep, all first tri stuff. It was pretty miserable. And for all you lucky B's who are all "I never had morning sickness, teehee!" Shut up. I hate you.

Just kidding. 

Thank God it gets better in the second trimester, which I just started (15 weeks along). I was waiting until I felt better to "out myself." I wasn't really up to posting for a while (hence, the complete and total abandonment of the blog for weeks). But truthfully, it's really hard to sound excited about pregnancy when you feel like this:

Maybe some of you are going, "Dammit, another baby blog. Un-following now..." And hey, that's totally you're prerogative. I can't really make any promises about the direction my writing is going to take, or the frequency of posts.

I'm not going to let being pregnant, and one day being a mom, completely define who I am. I mean really the only thing that's changing is I have to stay sober for forever a few months. 

Well that's a lie. I'll probably get super fat, too.

I miss beer.

Much love to ya,

When Being Responsible is Hard...

Ah, home ownership.

I had so many big plans for our house before we moved in. How many have I accomplished? Exactly zero.

It's not a matter of laziness per say...There have been, ahem, circumstances (which I will reveal in time)that have slowed me down considerably. But it's more than just that. I seriously underestimated the time and money involved in the things I desperately want to do to make our house "us."

I want so badly to paint the walls a pretty color, replace the ugly powder-blue carpet, get rid of those god-awful popcorn ceilings in every room, just to bring our otherwise adorable house into this millennium. I had all these grand notions of DIY glory but soon after we moved in I got a big 'ol reality check.

Could we afford to do it this moment? Sure. Does that mean we should? Therein lies the question.

When LT and I made a decision to buy a house, there were of course a lot of factors involved. Basically it came to one thing for us: location. We wanted to be central. The thing is, you pay for that.

For the same money we could have spent on a brand new house 30-45 minutes out, we bought a 1984 2-story in a modest neighborhood- close to EVERYTHING. The grocery store, the mall, the airport, the hospital, our families and most of our friends- all within 15 minutes or less. Also we're in an awesome school district for when that time comes along. 

Yes, we hit the jackpot on location alright, but it doesn't stop the little pang of envy I feel when I make the drive to visit my friends in their gorgeous, newly built brick houses with the pretty upgrades. As cute as our house is, and as much as I know we made the right choice, I can't help but want those things too.

As tempted as I am to throw all of our savings at making our house "pretty", I have to force myself to take a step back and ask:

Can I live with it?

The cold hard truth is, yes, I can. I can live in 1984 for a while. And I just have to take it one step at a time. The people that have to have everything right now are the ones that end up broke and in trouble ("House-poor" as my Mom puts it), and that's the last thing I want for our little family.

I know we'll get all of it done eventually, one project at a time. For now I just need to count myself lucky that we, two twenty-somethings, can afford a house at all. 

It sucks being a responsible adult sometimes.

Much love to ya,

Fall Where Art Thou?

With all this talk of pumpkin spice everything, I feel obligated to write a post about Fall. Or, in DFW's case, the lack there-of. Supposedly the official "beginning of Autumn" starts this Sunday. To this I roll my eyes and call BS, because according to weather.com the Texans in our fair city can expect a high of 97. 

Beginning of Fall my ass.

Things work a little differently here in the Lone Star State. Our Summers are brutal, our Falls and Springs are fleeting, and our winters are freezing, nasty messes that seem to last for-eh-ver. It's sad when we all get excited that the high is "only" in the 90's. Trust me-you feel the difference.

My friends and I were talking the other day about how you really know Fall is here when you have to wear a jacket on Halloween. One year you're bummed because you had to cover up your awesome genie ensemble, the next year you were sweating through your pink Power Ranger costume. I really hate Texas weather. 

Don't get me wrong, I love pumpkin spice everything but it just doesn't seem right when I haven't even broken out the sweaters yet. "Hi there Starbucks dude, let me just order my pumpkin spice latte while I stand here in my sundress and flip flops." It doesn't feel natural. 

I definitely need to get over this complex. After all, the temperatures in Hawaii stay in the 70's-80's year-round. They basically have no seasons, but of course they celebrate holidays. Maybe they need seasonal drinks to help them get in the spirit of things?

Anyways if Sunday rolls around and it magically drops to the 70's I'll happily eat my words and buy a round of pumpkin spice lattes for everyone. 


But don't count on it.

Much love to ya,

  

I'm not Dead--And I got a Liebster!

First of all I must apologize for the ridiculous amount of time I've gone between posts. Let's just say there are games afoot. But you shall know everything in time. Patience, young grasshoppers.

So anyways I was beyond stoked this morning when I woke up to see a message from the lovely Savannah over at Arizona Sunshine, telling me she nominated me for a Liebster Award! What, what?!! Thanks Savannah!

For those of you who don't know what it is (I didn't, so thank the Lawd Savannah's nomination came with an explanation) here's how it works:

1)Thank your glorious nominator and link back to their blog.

2)Answer the 11 questions from your nominator and then give 11 fun facts about yourself.

3)Nominate other up-and-coming blogs that you enjoy following and who you feel deserve some extra bloggy love!

4) Come up with 11 questions of your own to ask your nominees.

Here we go!

What's been your most favorite vacation? We went to Maui last spring and it was amazing. We didn't want to leave!
If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Cheese. I love cheese on an unhealthy level. I always tell people that if I was stuck on a desert island and could only pick one thing to eat forever it would be cheese.
What's been the most inspirational book or movie you've read or seen? This is probably an pretty obscure answer but one of the most inspirational movies I have ever seen is Life is Beautiful. It's a foreign film that came out in the 90s. Warning- do not watch without a box of tissues handy.   If you couldn't live where you're living now, where would you live and why? Maui. Or at least somewhere in Hawaii. When we left last spring, I was legitimately sad. Everything about the Hawaiian lifestyle was totally us. It's just so laid back, and beautiful. We could see raising a family there. We even looked at real estate--holy reality check. It's going to take a lot of hard work and saving but we're determined to end up there one day. We call it the 5-year plan. 
What's one thing you would tell your 16 year old self? Oh geez. My 16 year old self was a train wreck. Hmmm...I would tell her that you don't have to find love at 16.Don't let your young life revolve around a guy, especially one who doesn't respect you. Stop being so serious and go have fun! It will save you years of heartbreak and tears.
If you could live in any other time period what would it be? The 1930s-40s. I love listening to my Grandmother tell stories about her life growing up in Biloxi, Mississippi  It was just such a simpler time back then! There seemed to be far fewer "blurred lines." Plus I love the fashion and music of that era. 
If you were an animal, what would you be and why? Let's go with Winnie, specifically. She's the most spoiled dog on the planet. She basically gets whatever she wants-usually.
If you had to pick a movie to be your life, which one would you pick? The Hunger Games? Totally kidding. Probably...It's a Wonderful Life. It would be pretty cool to have the opportunity to see how blessed I really am even when things seem like they couldn't get any worse. And if you haven't seen It's a Wonderful Life I demand you go find and watch it immediately. Otherwise YOU CAN'T SIT WITH US.
What stereotypical "man" job would you want to try out? Man job? Most things that men do I have no interest in doing whatsoever. But, for the sake of not copping out...I wouldn't hate being in the secret service for a day, have that whole "Agent K" thing going on.
What's your favorite pizza topping? CHEESE!!! Duh.
What's your favorite form of social media? Truth be told, I really suck at social media. Half the time it just drives me bonkers! Really this blog is my main form of social media.
11 Fun facts 1) I hate onions. 2) I was born in Oahu, Hawaii. 3) I'm the oldest of 4 kids. 4) I listen to Disney music while taking bubble baths. 5) My favorite band is Dashboard Confessional. 6) My Mom is my best friend. 7) I don't get along with Tequila. 8) I hate cooking. 9) I'm not crafty. 10)I want to be a published author one day. 11)I desperately want another dachshund for my birthday.

And my nominees are...
Brooke @ Babbling Brookelyn
Danae @ Duh!Danae
Tina @ Joey's Mom Has Got it Going On
Rebekkah @ Reba K Writes

Here are my 11 Questions
1) What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you?
2) If you could trade lives with anyone for a day, who would it be?
3) Have you ever confronted a stranger about something?
4) Who is the person who has had the most impact on you and why?
5) Scariest thing that's ever happened to you?
6) What you would never wish on even your worst enemy?
7) What's your guilty pleasure?
8) If you go back to any day of your life, what would it be?
9) Biggest pet peeve?
10)Fashion trend you just don't get?
11)Is there such a thing as a dumb question? :P

Much love to ya,

Learning Selfless Love

Hey y'all! Sorry I've been MIA. Just been in a little bit of a funk as of late and haven't felt much like "sharing." Not that life's that exciting at the moment.

Has anyone else noticed that the "short week" following a "long weekend" seems to last forever? Just me? Ok.

Maybe it's because every minute of the last 20 days has been a count-down until LT comes home. And today is FINALLY the day. I swear it has felt so much longer than it's actually been. Looking back, I don't know how we got through Basic and OCS when we were limited to once a week phone conversations that barely lasted 5 minutes. How the hell did we do that?

LT's Basic Graduation- We had to say goodbye again right after because he went straight to OCS.

I think after a year of marriage (and almost 5 years with LT)I've let myself become more vulnerable. I learned to rely on LT for so much more than I ever thought I would. 

After being in an emotionally abusive relationship throughout high school and the first couple of years of college, I'd basically learned to guard my heart like it was always under attack. In fact I think it took a couple of years of dating LT to finally realize what selfless love is, and how to return it. In fact I'm still learning. 

But there's a flip side to this selfless love stuff. I've also learned that it's really easy to take for granted. When LT isn't here, I'm basically on my own. And for all the times I complain about wanting more help around the house, I find myself standing in the mess, totally overwhelmed and very aware of exactly how much he really does for me. Even the little things make a huge difference.

The time LT took me to the pet store to play with puppies because I was having a bad day.

I once read that love is an action, not a feeling. It's more than just telling someone. You have to show them. Somehow I lucked out and found someone who shows me all the time. I can't wait for him to come walking in the door tonight!

Much love to ya,

DO NOT RUB FOR GOOD LUCK

I haven't really mentioned but LT. and I have both had brain malfunctions this week which both resulted in great pains in our asses.

I'll start with mine.

So I left my debit card at a restaurant across town last month and have yet to go pick it up. Yesterday I finally decided it would be easier to request a new card. Cause instead of driving for 10 minutes I'd rather have it delivered to my doorstep in 3 days for an expedited fee of $8. Don't judge me.

As I was online filling out the request, I remembered that LT. has been needing a new debit card too. Ever since Winnie got his wallet a couple of months ago and chewed up most of its contents the bite-holes have made his card barely functional. So I thought to myself, I'll do a nice wifely turn and order him a new debit card too!

I was so proud of myself for being such a sweet wife. But only for about two minutes, because pretty shortly after I submitted the request I realized I had cancelled LT.'s only source of cash. And he's out of town. For another week.

Of course I panicked and called the bank only to be told that the cancellation was automatic and there wasn't anything they could do. 

"You probably want to call and let him know as soon as possible!" Bank lady suggests sweetly.

Thank you, bank lady. I would totally do that except LT. washed his phone in the laundry last week and it's completely dead now. You see my problem. Also you now know LT.'s brain malfunction.

So poor LT is out in the boonies, completely unaware that he's poor, and I have no way to get in touch with him. I spent the rest of my day stewing, wondering under what circumstance my unsuspecting husband would realize he was screwed.

I found out this morning when he finally called me.

LT: "Hey. We have a problem."

Me: "I think I already know what this is about."

LT: "Well, you don't have a problem. I have a problem."

Me: "Yeah...I'm pretty sure I know what it is."

LT: "I have no money."

ME: "I know...[insert rambling explanation about how I was only trying to be a good wife] and, Baby, I'm really, really sorry!"

Actually LT. was pretty cool about it. He has this odd way of not freaking out over things that are completely freak-worthy. Apparently our bank can wire him money, which would have been nice to know yesterday.

Anyways he should be getting a replacement phone today too, and thank GOD for it. Not being able to talk to him for extended periods of time takes me back to when he was at basic training. Worst ever.

And that is the story of how LT's and my brain malfunctions collided into one super malfunction. But it's all good. We're all good.

Much love to ya,

My New Favorite Thing

So lately I've been pretty tired, especially in the afternoons when I've been up since 6am. Over the last couple of weeks I've come to discover something about myself.

Apparently I value sleep over food. Well, not really. 

But I've discovered an equally valuable use of my lunch break:

Car-naps. They are seriously the best thing ever and I don't know why I never did it before! 

Around 11am I head out to Lola and drive across the parking lot to park under the furthest tree with shade. Then I recline my seat all the way back, kick off my shoes, and drift off into deep REM (like the sleep cycle, not the band) for a solid 50 minutes. But not before setting my "Lunchtime nap" alarm on my phone for 11:55am.  

It. Is. Glorious. I wake up from my car-nap feeling refreshed and ready to take on the second half of my day. I'm considering keeping a pillow and blanket in the back seat to make my car-nap experience even more enjoyable.

If you've never tried this I highly encourage you to take up the practice. Just remember, distance is key. Nothing would ruin your refreshing car-nap better than waking up to one of your concerned co-workers peering through your driver-side window, trying to decide if you're dead or not. 

Not that that happened or anything.

So anyways, you should like, totally go take a car-nap.

Much love to ya,

Well, I'll be Damned!

I try not to complain about my job too much. I mean, if you asked me if I went through 5 years of college with the ultimate goal of ending up as a receptionist, well, you tell ME what you think the answer is.

Truth be told, it's not so bad. I have a great boss and get paid well for such a low-stress job. It's a casual environment and the people I work with are all pretty cool for the most part. It helps pay the bills and generally I feel pretty blessed. I mean, I sit here and blog half the day.

But let's be honest. If you're in any sort of admin position you know how thankless it can be at times. I don't think people realize that admin work is more than just answering phones. My main job function is to help keep the office running and make everyone's lives easier, but often times I feel like I may as well be invisible.

Some days it gets pretty discouraging. And while I do receive the occasional "thanks, Linds!" which is better than nothing, would an actual gesture that required actual effort be too much to ask? The most effort I ever got was when someone brought bagels on "Administrative Assistant Day." I didn't even know there was such a thing. And that was two years ago!

Then yesterday my faith in humanity was restored.

Since last week's fiasco I've been wondering, did important corporate lady make her flight? Well I got my answer in a super surprising way:

Aside from the fact the flower-shop employee who took this particular transcript has absolutely no pride in their job apparently, I totally got the idea. Also, she sent me these:

At first when the delivery guy showed up and said they were for me I got all over-emotional and teary because hormones I thought they were from LT. He's been gone a couple of weeks and also broke his phone so we haven't been able to chat. I thought he was sending me flowers to communicate his love to me from afar. Turns out that wasn't the case.

But they still pretty much made my day!

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I expect something in return when I do nice things for people. But it's really great to know that a big-shot Exec from London takes the time to think about the little people, ahem, moi.

Much love to ya,

Miley, What the hell?

Ok, to be straight up, I didn't actually get to watch the VMAS last night because our stupid new cable package doesn't include that channel. Plus I was just so wiped I don't think I could have stayed up for it anyway.

But I wake up this morning and the Kidd Kraddick show was doing a recap. They were going on and on about how "shocking" and "obscene" Miley Cyrus's performance was and of course I was intrigued but not really surprised.

I haven't even seen her little number yet (I'm almost scared to) but I know it involves much twerking and giant teddy bears. To which I ask you, what the hell?

But nothing prepared me for the glee I would experience when I saw this glorious picture:

Y'all. I'm dying. It literally looks like they just witnessed an actual train wreck. The shock. The confusion. The whore HORROR. The one dude on the far right can't even bare to watch. I don't even think I need to see the actual performance. The looks on their faces say it all to me.

Also, Willow pretty much looks exactly like Will circa Fresh Prince in that shot.

Amma' right?

Anyways let's forget about dancing with Molly Miley and move on to the fact that THIS HAPPENED:

I was more of a BSB girl myself but even I admit this was pretty damn cool. So the rumors were true. Those sneaky bastards.

I'm already daydreaming about the 3-day weekend coming up. Anyone else?

Much love to ya,

The Day that Took the Cake

Y'all, I've had my share of legit awkward moments between my time in customer service and being a receptionist. 

Like the time I accidentally told a customer "I love you" as they were leaving the salon instead of "Have a nice day!"

Or the time a man asked me "Do you solicit?" when I worked the overnight concierge shift at a high-rise apartment in Uptown Dallas.

The thing is, at least those instances were kind of funny. Yesterday was just straight up uncomfortable.

The president of the company had e-mailed me earlier in the day to make sure a cab would be at the office at 2:45pm to take an important corporate lady to DFW Airport. I made the call, the cab people confirmed our address and said somebody would be there, and wham-bam. Easy as pie. Or so I thought.

So there I am, doing nothing my receptionist thing. The day had been going pretty okay so far and it was almost over. 2:40pm rolls around and I say goodbye to the corporate lady.

3pm rolls around and Corporate lady is standing in front of my desk again wondering where the cab is. And I'm all

So I call the cab people AGAIN and they say someone is on their way.

3:20pm. Corporate lady calls my desk because STILL no cab. Her freakin' international flight to London is at 4:45pm. I knew what I had to do, but it wasn't going to be pretty.

So I haul ass down 3 flights of stairs to Lola (my Corolla). I haven't cleaned her out in months. There are various crumbs. There are fast food straw wrappers. There are a couple of pairs of shoes and a set of 5 lb weights. And traces of baking soda in my carpet from when I spilled 2 grande pumpkin spice lattes last fall and was trying to deodorize the smell of sour milk. In one word, disgusting. Also, she's missing two hubcaps.

Behold, the grodiest product placement of all time.

But I had no other choice. So I peel around front and she jumps in my car and now I'm heading 70ish towards DFW Airport. And all the while I'm trying to make small talk and I'm apologizing and praying she doesn't notice the sour milk smell. And of course ALL the cops are out on 635.

Thankfully the airport is only 10 minutes away from my work but of course I had to miss the exit for D terminal. And surprisingly corporate lady was being pretty chill about it, even though her flight was leaving in less than an hour.

I pull in to D Terminal and she has her door open before I even come to a full stop. I was half expecting a tuck-and-roll scenario but no such luck. Obviously she wasn't in the mood for farewell pleasantries so my goodbye went something like

As I left the airport I had this really odd mix of emotions. Like triumphant and mortified. But mostly mortified. 

I suppose I really need to take a little more vehicular pride. Cause you just never know when you'll need to drive a head-honcho to the airport.

Oh well.

Much love to ya,

"A Couple" means TWO!!!

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone refers to more than 2 things as "a couple." C'mon people, isn't this common knowledge? Let's have a quick lesson:

Here are a couple of beers.

Anything more than two would be considered at the least, a few.

A few beers.

Or even several.

Several beers.

But problems arise when you start throwing around "a couple" all willy-nilly. LT. is guilty of this offense pretty frequently. 

Take our discussion about how long he was going to be gone with his unit. He told me "a couple of weeks." Imagine my dismay when I looked at my calendar this morning and realized the dates aren't adding up. Even though he's been gone almost week, it will still be A COUPLE OF WEEKS before he's back. Well, minus one day. So I'm rounding up, big deal. The principle is totally the same.

My point being that the use of "a couple" in this instance set me up for a humongo let down. Here I was thinking we were half-way through. I've been feeling under the weather and overwhelmed but it's ok, he'll be home in a week! Except, not. 

I'm sorry.

There's just been a lot going on in life and I feel pretty overwhelmed with it all. It's amazing how much you take people for granted until they aren't around, even if it's just for a short time. Despite my "independent woman" act I put on, I really need him.

Thank God for my sweet Mom who has popped in and out this week to check on Winnie in the afternoons. I even came home to a clean kitchen a couple of days ago. I seriously don't know what I'd do without her. I love you, Mom.

And I love you too, LT. I know you didn't mean to mislead me even though you KNOW how seriously I take "a couple". And I know I just need to shut my pie hole and be thankful that you put up with a woman as anal as myself. I just really miss ya is all...

Well, I'm exhausted from this rant. I think I'll go take a nap in my car now!

Much love to ya,