Rebuilding My Temple #6- Hot Yoga: I Love How Much I HATE it.

Last night I did Hot Vinyasa Yoga for the third time. The amount of sweat I produce is ridiculous. By the end I’m Alex Owens-from-Flashdance-soaked…Only it’s not sexy, like, at all.

At one point during “reverse warrior” sweat dripped into my ear, and I spent the rest of the posture banging my head against my shoulder to liberate my drowning ear drum. I’m sure that was just so Zen looking, but whatevs.

Even though I’m supposed to be concentrating on “my practice” I find myself gazing in upside-down wonderment at the more practiced Yogis who can contort themselves into all sorts of craziness and actually accomplish the “inversions.”  Yeah, this sh*t happens.

Half of the time I feel like I’m dying. But it made me feel better when one older dude who was clearly a regular hollered at the instructor “You crazy girl! You crazy, crazy, girl!” So at least I’m not the only one.

Supposedly it gets easier each time you do it. For a lot of people the heat is the hard part and I’m all, “Hello? You live in Texas.”  I know I shouldn’t be so judgey. The heat is super intense. I think it’s 105 degrees in there. 

If you ever decide to try it, make sure you drink a ton of water throughout the day before hand. Half your body weight in ounces is the recommendation. I drink 4-5 Bubbas. My Bubba is 34 oz. That’s like, over a gallon, y’all. I love it because my water stays cold even in class. I got mine at Walmart for like, $12.

So the heat I can handle, whether it’s due to my already-boiling Texan blood or because I am a magnificent hydrator. It’s the postures that kill me, because they require balance, and I’m already a clumsy person as it is. Thankfully I’m naturally bendy.

Also you get very…er…familiar with your neighbors, so if you value your personal space, well sorry you don’t get any. One poor woman sat on my hands yesterday.

At least I was luckier than the teenage boy who was unfortunate enough to be right behind the particular Yogi who let one rip the other day. Yes, it’s not uncommon for things to get gassy in a yoga class. I’d heard of this but never witnessed it for myself until that epic moment. It was hilarious…and sorta shnasty.

So I know you’re probably wondering why the hell you would ever try Hot Yoga now, but the truth is I actually love it. As much as it sucks during, I feel glorious after, and a little like a badass. Also I need this shirt.