That Time I Flashed the Student Union

Hello Friends,

I'm sorry I didn't get around to posting yesterday. There wasn't a good reason, I just really couldn't come up with anything that wasn't utterly boring or stupid.

So anyways this morning I had to get blood work done. And every time I encounter a needle it triggers what is probably the most embarrassing memory of my life.

Let me take you back to my freshman year of college. About 15 pounds ago, around when I could still fit my butt into a short skirt. 

I don't remember what was happening here, but it was some sort of antics Freshman year.

So there I am, scamping around campus like I'm hot stuff in muh mini skirt, when I see a sign for a blood drive in the student union. I think to myself, what the hell? I'll do something good for mankind today. And off I go.

I'd given blood before, no big deal. I waited my turn and hopped into that chair like I owned the damn place. They stick me and still I'm cool as a cucumber. In fact I'm chuckling condescendingly on the inside at all the other people around me who look so nervous. Wimps.

A few minutes later they've stocked up on my B- and patch me up. I get up to go and suddenly---

the ceiling. What the hell...?

I'm lying on the ground with my feet propped up on a cooler. An XXX Large shirt with the name of the blood blank on it is draped over me so I don't continue to flash the student union. It only took me a sec to figure out what happened.

And all the people waiting in line for their turn are like

And the phlebotomists are looking at each other like

I got up and hobbled over to where the juice and cookies were. Apparently I hadn't eaten enough to accomplish this particular act of philanthropy without epic failure. But hey at least they got their blood. I finished my cookie and got the hell outtie as fast as my wobbly legs could go.

This morning wasn't as dramatic thanks to the ninja skills of my nurse and the egg and sausage croissant I had before my appointment. 

So the moral of the story is that mini-skirts are not appropriate attire for blood donation. 

Much love to ya,